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Wednesday, May 22, 2013


relating - v.  1. To narrate or tell.
2. To bring into or link in logical or natural association.

This post has been several days in the writing and editing section of our blog dashboard.

Tornadoes hit Oklahoma on Sunday, May 19th.
One hit an area where the builder and construction crews live.
We have grown close to several of these people and consider them to be friends.
We also know people who have family, offices and businesses in that area.
Our hearts sank!

Then Monday, the BIG ONE hit!
This is all that has been in the news the past three days.
We, as all Oklahomans, are watching and praying and looking for ways to help. 

We can relate to how the victims could be feeling and acting!

So much on the news, Monday evening, were the words, 
"People are walking around in a daze."
The Daze After The Fire tells all, for us!
You don't know what to do.
You don't know how to feel.
You don't know how to react.

The drive home, for us, was so long, after Drewman called to say our house was on fire.
These people driving to get home, what was maybe 15 minutes, I can assure you, it felt like hours!

When we arrived and saw "it", there were no words.
As these people walked out of their safe rooms, cellars, closets or they turned into their neighborhood, from their horrific drive to get there, 
They didn't have feeling!

As you watched them walk around aimlessly looking, 
They didn't know what else to do!

I remember the morning after the fire,
I was setting on a rock, on the side of our hill,
My phone rang,
I looked at it,
I didn't know the number,
I hesitated to answer,
When I did,
A person, I didn't know, asked what I needed.
My answer...
I don't know.

These victims DON'T KNOW!

Thankfully, we had aunts, uncles and the big kids to take us by the hand and lead us.
They took control, cooked, did laundry, collected donations, made phone calls, devised a plan and discussed, all while we sat in our daze.
We pray, these victims have someone to lead them.

The news broadcasters are heartless!
We watch them pickup items, show it to the camera and drop it like trash.
Where is their respect for these peoples belongings?
The news claims freedom of press.

The day after our house fire, the news media arrived.
I was so proud of Our Big Boy!
He escorted them back to their vehicle and in the most business like manner, he reminded them,
Their freedom of press stopped when they entered our gate.

Knowing these victims don't have this ability,
We are sickened.

People wanting to help, dropping off items and donations.
This does your heart good!
Being on both ends of the giving and receiving, this post and this one speaks volumes, for us! 
These people don't know what they will be able to salvage.
Even what you may think as small is huge when the person has nothing!

Sifting through the rubble was very hard for us.
These people will shed many more tears as they find photos of their loved ones, items they kept from when their children were babies or even a plaque that hung on their wall.
I will never forget when Flower Boy found our Christmas Stockings and that box of my boy's toys!
When Drewman went in and pulled out some pictures!
When Our Big Kids pulled out my Fiesta!
When Flower Boy cut a hole in the only standing walls to pull out my massive tub!

If you are there to help, anything salvageable means so much to these people.
Allow them time to reflect, hold it and cry.
Please stand with them, with an open heart and an extended hand.
It means more than you will ever know.

There was an afternoon, a friend came to take me away so I could shower, eat and take a nap.
I hated to leave Flower Boy.
She pulled me away, knowing I needed some "Me Time".
When we returned,
Other friends were there with Flower Boy.
They were setting in chairs,
Attempting to relax.
Drewman had his friends with him, as well.
They would laugh, joke and be silly teenagers.

If you have friends that are victims,
You don't have to do anything.

We could not have made it through without our friends and family!

Over these past 8 months, we have needed alone time.
It has been time to heal, reflect, make our new plan and rebuild.
Does it seem like a lifetime?
Does it seem like yesterday?
We still don't know...
We take things one day at a time.
We get through today to get to tomorrow.
We still don't look into the future.
We accept the gift God has given us at this very moment and move forward.

Many tears have rolled down my face as I have typed, backspaced, deleted and re-typed this post.
So much more could be added.

What the relating definition doesn't say...
Relating is a synonym to Reliving.
As I end this post, no one situation is the same.
The person next door will not react the same as his neighbor.
There are stages of trauma.
Each person hits each stage at a different point, place and time.
There are no rules, only cause and effect.
With the Grace of God and the help of family, friends, strangers and communities, 
These victims will rise above "it"! 

1 comment:

  1. My dad died when I was ten and when I was twelve my childhood home and all reminders of my father was destroyed by a house fire. After the fire, all I had was the clothes on my back...I had no shoes or socks, I didn't even have my glasses and without them I was (and still am) legally blind. We lived out in the country in a little valley. We had two other families that lived down the road from us and that was our community and when our house burnt at the beginning of summer, my mother slept on a neighbors couch and us kids pitched a tent in the yard.....the other kids slept outside with us and although I still mourn the precious pictures and valuables that were my father, the rest of that summer was a kid's dream.....Thank Goodness for the help of those other families....they gave us shelter during the storms, they fed and clothed us (even though I wore boys' clothes:), they gave me precious memories that have lasted a lifetime.