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Thursday, March 13, 2014

Redneck Story of the Week

Drewman came up with this new weekly post idea.

Now, being a redneck doesn't always mean the person is backwards or wrong.
It just means you make the best of a situation  with the items you have at hand.
Sometimes the event turns out genius, while others may be a bonehead idea.

Do you listen to the Bobby Bones Show on morning radio?
I don't always listen to them and I'm not a favorite fan.
When I do, I listen for their Bonehead Story of the Day.
Normally these are quite funny.
Our Redneck Story of the Week will be similar to those.

I do hope not all stories posted here will be done on our ranch.
Although, we do have several stories to tell!
My Sissy may also be a guest blogger on these as well.
They have many a story to tell!

To start this weeks Redneck Story, we shall introduce you to Wilbur.
It is stockshow season around here.
We purchased Wilbur from a local 4-H boy.
We like to help the kids out anytime we can.

Much like Zuckerman's Famous pig in Charlotte's Web, our plan with Wilbur will be to butcher him.
We have an appointment with the butcher in a few weeks.
In the meantime, we put Wilbur in the dog pen.
This pen isn't used much.
It is only used when the granddogs are home, when Onyx and Ailey Mae are breeding or when Onyx has a girlfriend visit.

Cattle Ranchers don't know much about pig raising.
Did you know a 295lb pig can escape from a dog pen?

Early yesterday morning, and I do mean early, like WAY before daylight,
Flower Boy heard the dogs barking.
Onyx's job is to run the parameter of the ranch and notify us of anything wrong.
He did his job!
Flower Boy headed out.
He came back in, only to tell Drewman and I the pig was out and we needed to help get him in.

Wilbur was up on the hill from the dog pen.
He had bedded down between the hay bales.
We had attempted to walk the pig back to the pen.
THAT was not going to happen!

We decided to repair the dog pen, because Wilbur tore it up escaping.
He stretched the chainlink fence, pulled off top rail and post caps.
After repairing what we could, we placed some wire panels around the pen to make sure Wilbur can no longer escape.

Daylight was coming.
Flower Boy and I called into work, telling them we were going to be late.
Drewman had to leave us, as he had college class.

Flower Boy and I finished securing the pen.
We went to walk Wilbur down the hill to the pen.
Wilbur WILL NOT walk!
He only lays down and ignores us.

Here is where the Redneck Story happens...

Flower Boy has a plan!

The plan involves...
The Feed Truck Bale Spikes
Ratchet Straps

Flower Boy backs the truck up to Wilbur.
He lowers the bale spikes.
One ratchet strap was wrapped around Wilbur behind his front legs and the other at his hind legs.
This made a cradle of sorts.
The ratchet straps were then looped over the bale spikes.
Flower Boy got back in the truck, pushing the button, raising Wilbur into the air.
Slowly, ever so slowly, Flower Boy drives down the hill.
I walk behind to make sure Willbur's legs don't drag the ground and he doesn't squirm from the straps.
All went well!
Wilbur was at the gate of his pen!
The spikes were lowered and straps removed.
Wilbur got up and walked into his pen.


I'm sorry we don't have photos of the event.
Please visualize.

You may laugh with us.
When I called my girlfriend, she did!
Drewman did too!

Be watching each week, as Drewman will be posting future Redneck Stories of the Week.
If you have a Redneck Story of the Week you would like to share, we would love to hear it.

Rancher Girl

Wilbur is doing fine.
He has now adapted to his new pen.

1 comment:

  1. Ha Ha Ha! Pigs are so funny. That's a good story. Looking forward to more of your redneck stories. There's always redneck/mcguyver stories around here.